Hooray! A Happy Health Care Highway!

Everyone should just be jumping for joy!  Health care is now a right in America!

How this will work is easily illustrated.

See your health care is like your vehicle. You are a thing just like your vehicle too!

Your vehicle was in pretty bad shape according to just about everyone, though it is curious how it still seemed to be working okay for you up until now.

The great news is- do we ever have a deal for you!

We are going to repair your vehicle for free!

Here is how the deal works, we will fix your vehicle and everyone else’s vehicle too!

Though it is free we will start taking payments from you over the next four years to pay for the repairs.

By then we will have enough money to start everyone’s repairs all at once!

So you just pay for four years first- then we start!  After that we give you back your vehicle to use the way we let you.

The paycheck deductions will continue of course, but only for the remainder of your life… for you.

There will be a couple of new rules in exchange for us fixing your vehicle (for free) of course.

First of all; you and nearly everyone else, will get to go anywhere you want on the new highway we reserved just for you… and everyone else.  There are only entry ramps on this highway- and no exit ramps at all! So don’t worry about getting lost you will be on the same highway as nearly everyone else.

Of course myself, and a few of my friends have to use our own roads that barely have anyone on them, and never get near your new highway.  We actually have on ramps and exits in case we need them, but I digress.

Anyways, your new vehicle will be working just fine and it will take you to the places we want you to go!

It’s free by the way, except for the fees and other deductions of course.

Now should your vehicle start to cause any unforeseen problems we will ask you to park your vehicle where we tell you, for as long as we need to have your vehicle parked! All you will have to do is just wait-it’s  so easy!

Sadly, we know that at some point your(and you) vehicle will have outlived its useful life.  This might clog up your new highway for others on it and we will probably ask you to retire that vehicle from further use if we see signs this may be happening.  People will help you make the choice we already decided for you at that point.

Some newer vehicles might overload the highway too and since traffic will only move at an imperceptible crawl to begin with, we won’t need too many new vehicles crawling in to the traffic.  If we can encourage people not to keep them in the first place that would be great- and we will even pay to ensure they are destroyed before they become a “burden.”

We are doing all of this for you, because it is long overdue, you deserve it and this highway should have been a right long ago, and we care about you!

Oh by the way all previous roads will be destroyed, and you will have no other choices but your new health care highway, if you do not like it- oh well- we made it the new law!

Happy Motoring!

Congress and the President of the United States


One Response

  1. Shame on you

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